"The best broadband in town"

They advertise themselves as 'a company focused and committed in offering "Total Broadband" services', the supposedly "best" broadband provider in Kolkata and India. But if you don't know what total-with-a-capital-T broadband means, you're not to blame. You'll eventually get to know if you become an unfortunate user of Alliance Broadband. And this "global bridge for all your communication needs" is one that has many surprises for you up its sleeve: it would have been OK if the bridge had creaked everytime you tried to use it, I suggest putting up a "Rotten for Use" board.

I have been subscribing for more than one year to their "Strater Pack" (Starter, I guess), which is supposed to provide you with "unlimited monthly use" at 128kbps bandwidth for 30 days.


(Bandwidth available as on 23rd August, 2008, 6.44 pm, even slower than ISDN and 53kbps dial-up. Click on the image for a better view)

My reasons for choosing Alliance Broadband were as follows:
1) I live in a rented house with the constant suspicion of the landlady's capability to serve you unexpected "Vacate Right Now" notices in the middle of the night. Going for a BSNL connectivity would add much paperwork to my already-confused desk, I had thought.
2) The "Strater Pack" is the most economical of the broadband packages in the city; it comes at Rs.392 per month, including taxes.

The guys came in with the cables, hung around the electric poles, stuck a blue-blinking LAN card up my CPU's ass, charged some money, had tea, and that was that. A year later, I regret having choosing it. The disservices have been improved on every month, the services being almost absent.

Total Broadband Experiences:
1) You learn to patiently wait for your Gmail and every consecutive page to load at an average of 5-10 minutes a time, when there's connection.
2) You learn to patiently admire your desktop background for hours, when there's connection officially, and to relearn the first experience.
3) You learn how less important your work and correspondence are, when there's no connection.
4) You learn there's a sweet female voice at the "toll-(un)free" telephone helpline at 033-3982 9615, who doesn't pick up the phone most of the time, or talks to you, if you're really lucky, after 5 minutes on hold and bolsterous music, persistently advising you to try pinging even when it doesn't work.
5) You know what a 'package' means when you get your connection cut off in the middle of the week at the beginning of each month, even when you diligently pay for your usage (and non-usage). You read the fine-print, didn't you?

And there could be a thousand other learning experiences. After having an even wonderful connectivity in July 2008, I decided to make a log of it for the next month, August 2008.
Spare a glance at the log below, if anyone's interested in knowing how rewarding broadband connectivity can be like.


Broadband connection log: August 2008
5th August 9.15pm.
Cannot sign in to the net. No connection available.
Gateway Status: Gateway reachable
DNS Status: Host reachable & service is running
Authentication Server: Host reachable but service is not running

6th August 5.45pm.
No connection available.
Gateway Status: Gateway reachable
DNS Status: Host reachable & service is running
Authentication Server: Host reachable but service is not running

7th August 7.54pm.
No connection available.
Gateway Status: Gateway not reachable
DNS Status: Host not reachable
Authentication Server: Host not reachable

9th August.
Connection problems throughout the day. Couldn’t sign in. Message says: NAS Rejected the Request. Reason- User License Exceeded. Pinging worked from late in the night.

12th August 6pm.
No connection available.
Gateway Status: Gateway not reachable
DNS Status: Host not reachable
Authentication Server: Host not reachable

13th August 12.48pm
No connection available.
Gateway Status: Gateway reachable
DNS Status: Host not reachable
Authentication Server: Host not reachable

18th August 4.03pm
No connection available.
Gateway Status: Gateway reachable
DNS Status: Host reachable & service is running
Authentication Server: Host reachable but service is not running

19th August 10.14am
No connection available.
Gateway Status: Gateway reachable
DNS Status: Host reachable & service is running
Authentication Server: Host reachable but service is not running

19th August 2.05pm
Connection unavailable from evening to night.
Says rejecting request while signing in.
Gateway Status: Gateway reachable
DNS Status: Host reachable & service is running
Authentication Server: Host reachable but service is not running

20th August 11.20am
No connection available.
Message says: NAS Rejected the Request. Reason- User License Exceeded.
No connection for the rest of the day or night.
Gateway Status: Gateway reachable
DNS Status: Host reachable but DNS service is not running
Authentication Server: Host reachable & service is running

21st August 12.30pm
No connection available.
Says ‘wrong username/password’ (!) repeatedly while attempting signing in.
Sign in fails throughout the day even when the hosts are reachable and ‘service is running’. Very slow connection available after 8pm.

22nd August 12.03 am
No connection available.
Message says: NAS Rejected the Request. Reason- User License Exceeded.

22nd August 9.48pm
No connection available. Message says: Sorry could not contact server.
Gateway Status: Gateway reachable
DNS Status: Host reachable & service is running
Authentication Server: Host reachable but service is not running

24th August 5.21pm
No connection available.
Gateway Status: Gateway reachable
DNS Status: Host reachable & service is running
Authentication Server: Host not reachable

25th August 10.55pm
No connection available.
Gateway Status: Gateway reachable
DNS Status: Host reachable but DNS service is not running
Authentication Server: Host reachable & service is running

29th August 1.24pm
No connection available.
Message says: “ERROR: DNS Detection failed!, Error sending datagramm to DNS server!,
Gateway Status: Gateway not defined
DNS Status: Detection Failure
Authentication Server: Host not reachable

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1 comment:

Shiv Das said...

Well written. Same here dude. I have the same side of the story. If there is a word for worst than pathetic, it is them.

By the way, do you have any idea what is, "NAS Rejected The Request. Reason - User License Exceeded." ?